You are NOT alone, He promises.

Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

When you are in the deepest and darkest parts of your life, do you have the Lord in your life to ask for help from? Has it ever felt that the Lord just doesn't answer? Or that your prayers are voided? What about how extremely hard it is in this world to be vocal about your faith in the Lord, how hard is that for you? I want to share my faith journey with you, in the hopes of reaching out to others who have a faith struggle, and really need Jesus to take over their live an save them from this world and all its heartbreak...

Growing up as a kid, my brother and I usually went to Sunday school while our parents went hear the Word with the rest of the adults in the "big room". We certainly did not go every Sunday, and at one point we really just stopped going. At a young age, you really don't comprehend the whole "Jesus thing" until you are older and you go through things. So as a kid, you just had fun playing with toys and patiently (persistently) waiting for your parents to come pick you up. But as we grew older, and worse things started to happen, our family really didn't go to the Lord for help. We just tried to rely on each other and act as if we all could just figure it out together. Until this last recession back in 08-09'. These are the dreadful years where my brother and I were older and we knew exactly what was going on. My dad and I always butt heads and fought, as did my parents, and my little brother was stuck in the middle not knowing what to do. My parents filed for divorce during this time and we also lost our house that we were in. My mother was in between work and dad was gone quite a bit to make up for it. I was middle school age and my brother was young and still in elementary. We really were in a million pieces and it truly seemed like there was no coming back from it. Time went by, days, weeks, and months. Until the day my parents decided to randomly take a Sunday morning trip to a new church. We sat in a row: dad, me, Spencer, then mom. I don't remember what the message was about, but I know that trip to church changed my family forever. Because as I sat and fiddled with my pant-strings, my parents reached for each other hands over our laps. Weeks later, my parents DID NOT sign their "papers" and they called off their divorce. At the same time, we had a huge moving sale for our home and packed up our stuff. I remember driving away that day in tears not wanting to leave my childhood home. We had no clue where we were going and where we would live. Until my dad got a phone call saying we could move into a 3 bedroom townhouse. Do you sense my point to this? We were saved. Jesus did not give us more then we could handle. He knew exactly how much we could take because he knew what was at the end of that dark tunnel. There was a lot more involved in our family story, but everything is not worth discussing now since the Lord fixed it all. He kept my family together, He gave us a new home, He gave mom and dad better work, He gave my brother and I a strong connection, and He gave us wisdom. This wisdom is worth more than any dollar amount, any experience, and anything in the world. God gave us our own experience to share...

Sharing out experience tends to be the hardest. Maybe being an adult with your life put together makes it a tad bit easier, but as a student or teenager, it is virtually impossible to share your faith without feeling judged. If you had the same experience I did, it makes it INCREDIBLY difficult to call yourself a "Christian" and back up your faith vocally. Because all I got was she's a "bible blower'" or "shove a crucifix up her ass" or even "she will be a virgin until she's 40!" These things were all said behind my back and I was told these stories by friends or people who heard it and then told me. All throughout High School, I was talked about behind my back, or used as a subject of humor. I couldn't talk about prayer, or God, or my faith journey with anyone. So I had to show my light of the Lord in other ways. Through compliments, my attitude, my personality, and my friendship to others. I never really did anything to "push" my beliefs on people because I never got to discuss it. Everyone considered me a "goodie-two shoes" and "on her high horse" and people just thought I thought I was better then everyone else. I certainly didn't think that way, but others certainly did. I got fake smiles, fake compliments, and fake people who were not really my friends. So I kept my vocalization down to a minimum and tried to join clubs who wanted to do good things. My heart and my intentions I KNOW have always been in the right place because I had God. God gives me everything I have and has made me everything I am. Which makes me happy because that means those who love me, love something that our great Father above created. Which means they are one step closer to knowing the God I know. We are all children of God. We are all blessed. God answers our prayers, but in HIS time. He always provides, and He will never leave us. So when in doubt, PRAY it out. Amen.