Why the "Honeymoon" stage isn't the best stage to be in...

"Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age." -Booth Tarkington

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We all go through the "honeymoon" stage at some point in time. You can even go through it with a family member like a father or mother (in a non-sensual way) or even siblings. Granted, we think of the "honeymoon" stage as the best moments of our newly owned relationships. A honeymoon is truly known as the time a couple gets (usually after marriage) to go somewhere special or do something special. A big vacation, or a fancy event, or even a long and rigorous road trip. It is meant to celebrate a new commitment, and a new excitement of not being alone. The beginning of a relationship is exactly that. The excitement of a new commitment. You take months to get to know this new person. You have so many things to catch up on and learn. You both have new experiences and amazing moments to share. You also have very vulnerable moments you share, moments of sadness and distraught, moments of loss and even untold confessions. It feels like the best time to be open and free. Fun to laugh, kiss, cuddle, and overall fall in love. This is not to undermine the power of the honeymoon stage, but it truly is not the strongest piece of foundation in our daily relationships. If you are in a relationship currently, take a moment to look at your significant other (if they are near you). Be awkward and stare at them, smile at them, wink at them, be goofy. Until they ask you "Why the heck are you looking at me like that?!" Then just laugh. But secretly, imagine what it would be like right now if you were alone. Take them out of the equation. Imagine all the times you have had together, and now pretend you did those things alone. How does that make you feel? Imagine not being able to talk to them about your long and tough day. Imagine having to start all OVER from scratch with someone else. New introductions, reexplaining your life story, and most importantly building up trust. I don't know about you, but that sounds exhausting and scary. If you feel like you are in the relationship with the person who you know is "the one", do not take them for granted. Use all the time you have to keep finding ways to get to know each other on a much deeper level. Get to those points where you can cry together and show each other the darkest parts of you. No matter how dark and scary those places are or can be, you will never fully connect without sharing those moments. Those you love the most, will always need the most time to grow. Growing together is what makes you stronger. You simply can't go straight from meeting someone to sharing your darkest secrets. The honeymoon stage is the "sugar coating" to a life-long relationship. But the bulk and the depth of your relationships comes from the quality of information you choose to share. Communication is hard to nail down, but remember the more you try, the closer you get to success. If you are currently in the honeymoon stage, enjoy it! There is nothing wrong with it! You must go through it to get to the deeper parts with those deeper connections. It truly is exciting and adventurous! It may feel like the best time ever, but when you are with that person more months, years, decades, and even centuries, you will know just how much you could not live without them. Whether you marry, or get engaged, or choose to stay together forever, you will absolutely realize that no matter what you go through, you do not want to do it alone. No matter what your past relationships have been like, no matter what you have been through, no matter where you came from, if you don't allow yourself to fall and go through fun times with someone new or the person you are with, you can not move forward. Do not take 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, take 3 leaps forward and never look back. Be daring, be adventurous, be you. Now go and enjoy your love. Go and spend quality time with those you love. Most importantly, go appreciate how loved you are. How excited you are. How blessed you are to be living, breathing, eating, sleeping, and being loved.

More to come soon! -Jess